The topic known as Chavez is widely covered throughout the world and I’m not here to talk about him, because for him and his allies I feel nothing but contempt.
I do, however, want to express that I’m saddened by what I’ve allowed myself to feel towards the city I used to love: apprehension.
Caracas was my paradise when I first moved to the U.S.A in 1994. I used to love visiting family and friends, eating the delicious food offered everywhere, and being greeted with a smile wherever I went. I bragged about my fellow ‘caraqueños’ and their outgoing personalities. And, I still brag about the Avila and the beaches of Venezuela. But, I no longer love going, in fact I’m not interested in visiting anymore. The last time I went was in 2006 and although the food is still delicious, and the smiles seem to have decreased but prevail, I feel fear.
People often criticize me for that, claiming everything is fine and it’s nothing to worry about, suggesting I go and just stay in one place or two; but I don’t like boundaries like that. If I go I want to be free and that is something I don’t feel anymore when I go to Caracas. It’s a shame my son won’t get to grab mangoes from a tree and drink natural fruit juices up in Galipán. At least not anytime soon. I hate that he won’t savor the flavors so familiar to his parents and relatives because his mom is afraid of the city she once felt so comfortable at.
I hate feeling contempt towards an abusive government because it backfires to the point of feeling the same for the city being abused, for the country slowly going back in time, to ruins.
The flag has changed, the emblem did too, so has the constitution, and even the people have shifted their morals and values…So have I. I have been changed.